On Burning Bushes
June 07, 2024 |
| Breakfast Catch-up with RR - On Orange Lancaster, June 2024 |
Good afternoon beautiful people,
I spent my morning catching up with RR (previously mentioned him in this post when talking about my time in Seattle). He is an old friend (old in Lancaster years aka among the first people I met when I moved here) who ministers to me every time we talk.
Before I share snippets from our conversation, I would like to rewind to last night (and make a confession).
You all know I help out with the Narcotics Anonymous meetings at my church. So last night as the meeting was going on, I decided to Google someone I know - an old friend who started her ministry around the same time I started my mental health work. We used to exchange 'start-up teething notes', then life happened and communication fizzled - partly because I am not on social media. A quick Google search took me to her public social media sites and I got to see that her ministry is thriving, and she is traveling all over for speaking engagements. For some reason, seeing all these stirred something in me.
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| The red bricks of church tower look amazing against the blue sky - Lancaster, June 2024 |
The beauty, and should I say curse, of being a psychology student is that you tend to psycho-analyse yourself every so often - so when I got home, I went into psychoanalysis mode and asked myself, what about her, her life and her ministry stirred something in me?
At first it was hard to admit...but the ‘why her’, ‘why her ministry’, ‘why this and that opportunity’, (add all the things you have thought or said out loud about others - because I know I am not alone in this)…all these questions led me straight to a camp I would rather not be in - the ‘envy/jealousy camp’
At its root, jealousy is connected to warmth, heat, a burning (explains a lot of the physiological aspects). It is also associated with not seeing what we have, and instead wanting what the other has, hating on them for having it, and to some extent, based on our perceptions, wishing we were in their shoes, and they in ours.
And of course we can ‘justify our feelings’ - they are not even ....(fill in the blank), so why them…and we all know it goes downhill after that line.
This realization did a number on me - I want to love on this lady, to pray for her and her ministry, not feel some type of way, and side eye her from behind the screen.
After journaling through all these, noting some bubbling under things and getting redirected to the blessings I enjoy from a successful advocacy career that span over 10 years, to going back to school, and now anticipating a business venture, I repented - I was not going to go to bed with all these resentment for someone who is just living their life - and called it a night.
Because God is in the comedy business, guess what RR and I ended up talking about the next morning during our breakfast meeting - how God is present in what we think of as the ‘small things’ or ‘mundane’; and if we are open to the experience, how so much ministry and growth happens in the waiting, in 'being on the queue'. I had not told him about last night - but it looks like when I called it a night, God said ‘to be continued’.
Something interesting that RR mentioned when talking about the 'small things' and his own time of waiting, was Moses' calling. For my Bible newbies, I talked about Jacob aka Israel and his kids aka the Israelites on this post about Joseph. So when Joseph died and the Israelites grew in number, their host country Egypt felt some type of way about them, ended up enslaving them among other things. They cried to God and He elected a guy called Moses to take them out of Egypt and lead them to the promised land…I blogged about their lifestyle in the promised land on this post on the Book of Judges.
The day God called Moses, He appeared to him in the form of a tree on fire (burning bush) that was not consumed (you got to love the Bible). We always think that this encounter was a briefing meeting for the task ahead…but RR posed a question that really blew my mind - What if the burning bush moment was more about God having alone time with Moses than it was about giving him instructions for the 'what next'' 🤯🤯🤯(you can read about this encounter in Exodus Chapter 1).
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| My conversation with RR about the small things reminded me of this Luke 10:42 stained glass in church (it is one of my best) |
We spend so much time waiting for the 'what next', glamourizing the 'what next', envying those in the 'what next' (me last night), that we do not embrace our burning bush moments, the here and now with their ‘small’ and ‘mundane’ things. Even during our regular burning bush moments aka prayer, Bible study and fasting, it is usually about the 'what next', about the ask and the 'ordering of our steps', and rarely about the thank you, the 'I like it here', then 'I will sit in silence and just be'.
Maybe, just maybe, this burning bush moment I am in right now is more for me and Him. Maybe, just maybe, it is more about what I sometimes consider mundane and small - the blogging, the being a student, and now this ‘small business’.
That does not mean that all the HUGE things will not happen, or are not worth anticipating, it just means that there is a season for everything - I was once in a season of being all over and now I am in a season of rest. Both seasons are perfectly fine - and none is superior to the other (unless we make them) - and both need our utmost attention.
I am grateful that this morning's meeting, though pre-planned, landed the day after my 'stirred up moment'. Our conversation helped re-orientate me, and was the assurance I needed (that word again).
I am exactly where I need to be for this season of my journey. It may not feel as glamorous and established as my friend’s (or my former) life but it is equally as important - and so I will continue to be present in this, and every, burning bush moment.
Dear God, may I never lose sight of the blessing that is all the 'small and mundane’ things and moments you have given to me...May I be present in the here and now, in the burning bush encounters - and if I get derailed by those passing me by, may my why them, why that opportunity turn into good for them, glad they got that opportunity.
Have a lovely weekend.
Sending love and light,
Sitawa
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