Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht” ~ (Wo)man plans, God laughs

May 20, 2023

Sitawa Wafula is a blogger living with epilepsy and bipolar, pursuing academic dreams abroad, and embracing the abundant life
Brought the daisies from my hospital stay home (still working on the pesky medical tape)

Hey beautiful souls, 

My system went CTRL+ALT+DELETE this past week and I have to reboot my Summer plans.

Well, it all began in April…or maybe earlier.

I kept having these sharp headaches that felt like people were mining inside my head. This Tuesday the miners reappeared after a short hiatus, and I swear they had brand new sophisticated tools because the pain was unbearable. I slept early on Tuesday, woke up feeling ok on Wednesday and went for my Research Methods Summer class only for the sharp pains to reemerge during class.

…when I came to in the ER

I excused myself and went to the school Health Center, only to regain my senses in the ER.

After a couple of scans and being pricked all over in the name of IVs and blood tests, I became the proud ‘owner of a new diagnosis’ (buyer beware, everything can be pathologized).

This whole scene is a deja vu.

I have been here before.

Twenty years ago to be precise.

When I was in my late teens, I went through something similar, ended up in hospital for an extended period of time, missed out on school, and later dropped out of University thanks to a ‘new diagnosis’.

And now, another diagnosis is threatening to take over yet another academic journey.

The years of wisdom between my late teens and now have taught me that sometimes letting go (of the short term things) is the best way to hold on to the long term things.
…day 3 in hospital
I am going to withdraw from the Summer classes I am currently enrolled in, and take care of myself instead. 

In the short term, this will definitely affect my plans of doing a solo research project before Post-Grad applications are due. 

In the long term, I would rather send a simple application or delay my application than end up in yet another ambulance.

Sending love and light, 
Sitawa

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